We all do it, talk to ourselves. But think about it, are you critical or positive to yourself?
I would hazard to say that we are all much more critical of ourselves than positive. How many times have you thought or said to yourself you wished your stomach was flatter, or you were skinner or in better shape? Or hating the way you might look in a piece of clothing or how your hair is on a particular day because others might think the same. I know myself sometimes when I make a mistake I silently say to myself “Oh you idiot” which when in fact it was just a mistake.
All this critical talk in your head brings on negative emotions, which certainly doesn’t make for a good day!
Even university researchers have found that it isn’t just about what you say to yourself but it is also the language you use. It’s like we are blind to the way we talk to ourselves or think of ourselves.
We always have a choice as to how we look at ourselves and there are ways to learn to be positive. Learning to meditate, listening to inspirational podcasts and reading inspirational books, has taught me how at times I don’t speak to myself very well. How many of you have been doing exactly as I have?
Here are 5 things to think of and try to do, to turn that critical self-talk into a more positive way to speak to yourself:
- Start focusing on how you describe and talk about yourself, so many people would never speak to another person the way you speak to yourself.
- Guard your thoughts, pay attention to which thoughts you are grabbing hold of and nurturing and which ones you are letting go.
- How truthful and accurate are your thoughts?
- Are you labelling yourself too harshly?
- Are you mind reading, thinking that others might be critical of you?
It may take some people a lot longer to learn how to turn that critical talk into positive but it can be done. By employing more positive self-talk you will find that you will improve your self-worth and you will be able to banish that inner critic to actually learn to like yourself, warts and all.
“Words matter. And the words that matter most are the ones you say to yourself.”- David Taylor-Klaus