Are you being true to who you really are or are you being someone that you think you should be to appease others?

After choosing a career path and following that for 14 years I decided it wasn’t what I wanted in life.  It was hard for my father to accept that I didn’t want to make policing a life long career, as he and his father had.  But he supported and respected my decision.  Yes I missed working with the lifelong friends that I had gained but they are still in my life, well at least the important and authentic ones are. 

I think a lot of people really have no idea who they truly are because they have been doing what they were taught as young children to be or do.  Too many people have chosen paths to follow in the hopes that those goals they set long ago are right for them.  If you have chosen a path and it turns out it’s the wrong one, you will have been pursuing goals that don’t really reflect who you are, what you are good at or even what you care about.

Being authentic simply means embracing who you really are, at your very core, and acting in accordance with your own values and beliefs.  It also means just being there for yourself, making sure you stick up for yourself when things get tough.  If you are being authentic your self-worth and self-confidence improves and any goals you set, you will most likely achieve.

If you’re not sure if you are being authentic take the time to sit and reflect on your life.  Be honest about what you want out of life.  Ask yourself what brings you happiness and be even more honest by acknowledging those things that don’t!  Those things that maybe you do because others want you to do.  You have to stop people pleasing and start ‘you pleasing’, do those things in life that provide joy and happiness to yourself.

This is hard to do in our society today because we don’t want to be seen as self-absorbed or selfish.  It’s not being selfish, it’s being who you truly are.

So how do you live authentically:

  • Stop trying to be someone you aren’t
  • Set a goal to do something that you truly want to accomplish
  • Step back and consider all the things you have managed to accomplish in your life and be proud of them.
  • Stay connected with your genuine friends
  • Everyday tell someone you appreciate them
  • Have the courage to say No to things and people not serving your authentic self


“Be yourself – not your idea of what you think somebody else’s idea of yourself should be.”

– Henry David Thoreau


Photo Credit: Mark Crockett


About the author : CarolC


  1. LYNNETTE STACKER 23/10/2021 at 5:33 pm - Reply

    Hey Carol, your words certainly ring true. I am definitely guilty of having done so. So important that we are all true to ourselves.

  2. Phyllis Banks 24/10/2021 at 12:25 am - Reply

    How right you are Carol. I,as a younger woman starting out in life never really commented on things I thought were wrong because I was just too shy to give an opinion.
    Over the years, as I have experienced many tragedies in my family, I have become more confident and outspoken and certainly don’t allow anyone to tell me what I can and can’t do.
    As you age, you become wiser
    and more sure of yourself.
    You have always known what you wanted and your confidence has proven what you have accomplished.
    You are awesome.

    • CarolC 26/10/2021 at 9:54 am - Reply

      I’ve learnt from the best!

  3. Stuart Danker 24/10/2021 at 12:32 pm - Reply

    This is an inspiring post, and something I needed to hear too! I sometimes feel like I’m not living my most authentic self, and that requires a bit of thinking to reevaluate. Thanks so much for this post, and for your inspiring life in general, Carol!

    • CarolC 26/10/2021 at 9:54 am - Reply

      It always seems that we are reminded of things when we need to be. Glad my blog was what you needed to hear and I hope that you will move forward to work out what your true authentic self really is.

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