I’m sitting here in San Francisco waiting for my last flight to get me back to Toronto for Christmas, people watching and wondering where everyone is going? Each airport I have been at in the last 20+ hours have been jam packed with people no doubt heading to spend the holiday season with loved ones, to celebrate such a beautiful time of the year.

I’m certainly no different except that this Christmas will probably be the last one that my father, Don, has on this earth. My brain certainly can comprehend that it is his time because he has been suffering for a number of months but my heart is breaking. My dad is my hero and always has been and I just can’t understand what life without him around would be like. Even though I live 16,000km’s away he has always been there, at the end of a phone line or after 24 hours of flying.

My dad has always been a proud, loving and faithful man. If you ever wanted a friend for life he was the man for the job! I am scared of what I will see when I arrive and I have been told that I will be surprised at how frail he is, so I am prepared. But are we ever really prepared to lose someone we love?

I’m lucky that I will be able to celebrate this Christmas with my family and celebrate my father’s amazing life. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without him.

So this holiday season hug those around you and tell them that you love them. Life is too short and precious not to let your feelings be known.

About the author : CarolC


  1. Marguerite 18/12/2015 at 12:59 am - Reply

    Going through the same thing with my Dad but l have him close by, no l don’t think we will every be prepared to lose someone we love especially our Dad’s, being their daughters. My Dad is my ROCK and l know you feel the same about your Dad. I can already see your Dads face light up when you enter his room and you will lift his spirit that l am certain. Big hug my dear friend, enjoy your Christmas with your family and LOVE LOVE LOVE!
    Merry Christmas!! ho ho ho

    • CarolC 21/12/2015 at 3:00 am - Reply

      Marguerite, his face did light up and my face was the first thing he saw when he woke up! So that was a nice start. We have even done his first selfie! Boy did he enjoy that! So we have had some fun times and hopefully a few more before I have to head back to Australia. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your dad and I send you a hug back! Love you!

  2. Joycelyn BOWLES 18/12/2015 at 1:11 am - Reply

    Hi Carol
    I am feeling your pain all the way over here in Australia. They are very raw feelings when our very being is challenged by the loss of a member of our family of origin. It was this time last year that my father died. He was strong, loving, loyal and devoted to our family. Having lost my brother and mother in the same year I was not convinced that they had provided me with the strength to carry on. However here I am almost a year later actually looking forward to Christmas. It will never be the same but I have a very warm feeling of just how lucky I was to have them in my life. Having our chance meeting at the Book Festival, reading your wonderful book, having a Canadian Son-in-Law and his mother having MS and my daughter having been a pro athlete, still doing 4 day adventure races, I feel that maybe that chance meeting was meant to be. I don’t doubt your strength in many areas of your life. Even though that strength has been tested many times and we don’t want it or understand why. I will be thinking of you and your family during the Christmas season. Regards Joycelyn Bowles

    • CarolC 21/12/2015 at 2:55 am - Reply

      Joycelyn, I don’t believe that anything is random. We were meant to meet and the Book Expo was the catalyst. Thank you for your kind words, we have already had some wonderful times and some laughs with dad just remembering things in the past. I hope that you enjoy your Christmas and remembering the beautiful times you had with your family.

  3. Helene Nell 19/12/2015 at 2:15 am - Reply

    Hi Carol, Have a fantastic Christmas with your family & make many happy memories. Sending you a big hug, Helene

    • CarolC 21/12/2015 at 2:53 am - Reply

      Thanks so much Helene.

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