The last couple of days have really made me realise how far away from my family I really am. I had been chatting with my mom and sister just a few days ago when things seemed fine. Then you get that call “Dad’s had a fall”. With that one call I sat on egg shells waiting to hear the verdict, when that came through that there was no break I was really relieved, after all we all know that someone who breaks a hip at the age of 81 is prone to pneumonia. So I was very happy to hear that wasn’t the case.
But there were some other issues that the doctors wanted to address so they were going to keep him in hospital for the night. That was good he was in a safe place where they would take care of him. With that my mom went home to get some rest, while my sister held the fort at the hospital. You see dad has dementia, but for the last 2 months has been on medication which has kept him stable. My sister spoke to the staff and was assured he would get the medication he needed and so left for the night.
To then be greeted the following day with my 81 year father tied to the bed and obviously very distressed would not have been nice for my mother, but that is what she walked into. They said that they had to subdue him as he became very violent and it took 3 security guards during the night to subdue him! Maybe if he had been given his medication this wouldn’t have happened. When a family friend looked at his chart they had then quadrupled his medication! No wonder he had to be subdued.
This is a man who served the community of Toronto for 40 years of his life, protecting its citizens and upholding the law. He doesn’t deserve to be treated like this and my heart aches that I am so far away and can’t do anything for my mom and sister.
Speaking to my mom yesterday and especially today, to hear the pain in her voice was so sad and broke my heart as she said “he isn’t the man I married, that’s not your father”. What can I say but agree with her. Unfortunately in our world today there is very little understood about dementia and what the families go through.
So as I sit and wait for the next update I can only pray and hope that they get his medication right so he can be the gentle giant that he has always been and that I remember him as. I’m sending my prayers and good vibes to my sister and mom for them to get through this tough time. I really do love my adopted country but I just wish it wasn’t so far away from family.