Building Resilience
I feel incredibly fortunate to have been born into the family I was. When I was 7, I watched the 1968 Mexico Olympics and was mesmerised by the gymnasts. I decided right then that I would be an Olympic gymnast for Canada. However, no one told me that my body type didn't fit the gymnast mold. When I was 9, I tried out for an elite gymnastics club, only to be told by a rather unsympathetic woman that I was too fat for gymnastics and should give it up.
When my mother found me sobbing on my bed, she gave me two pieces of advice that changed my life:
Never let anyone tell you what you can and can't do. If you want to do gymnastics, then do gymnastics.
If you want to go to the Olympics, maybe try a different sport.
This was my lightbulb moment! My mom taught me to think outside the box and reframe my thinking. By doing this, she was building my resilience. I had never really considered pursuing another sport competitively. Fast forward 5 years, and at 14, I was swimming at a national level, aiming for the 1980 Moscow Olympics. We all know what happened to those Olympics—most of the Western world, including Canada, boycotted them. My mom’s advice to reframe my thinking took hold, and in 1980, I ended up joining the police force instead.
Reframing my thinking has helped me build resilience in every area of my life. Whether I’ve faced failure or changing circumstances, I’ve always tried to reframe my thoughts. Resilience isn’t something we’re born with; it’s something we can learn. Here are a few ways to build it:
When faced with adversity, challenge negative or limiting thoughts by asking yourself questions like, “What other ways can I look at this situation?” or “What might be the silver lining in this challenge?” This practice allows you to reframe your thoughts and find more constructive interpretations of events.
When you encounter setbacks, view them as opportunities for growth and learning rather than as failures. Instead of saying, “I can’t do this,” say, “I can’t do this yet, but I can learn and improve.” This mindset shift promotes resilience by encouraging perseverance and the belief that you can overcome obstacles.
Be kind to yourself during difficult times. Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same understanding and care you would offer to a friend facing a challenge. When you make a mistake or face adversity, avoid self-criticism and negative self-talk. Acknowledge your emotions, recognise that setbacks are a part of life, and offer yourself words of encouragement and support. This self-compassionate approach can help you bounce back from adversity with greater emotional strength.
These mindset shifts encourage resilience by promoting perseverance and the belief that you can overcome obstacles. Remember that building resilience is an ongoing process, and it’s okay to seek support from friends, family, or professionals when needed. You can start building resilience at any time with these simple practices.