Are you being true to who you really are or are you being someone that you think you should be to appease others?After choosing a career path and following that for 14 years I decided it wasn’t what I wanted in life. It was hard for my father to accept that I didn’t want to make policing a life long career, as he and his father had. But he supported and respected my decision. Yes I missed working with the lifelong friends that I had gained but they are still in my life, well at least the important and authentic ones are.

Well it’s been just over a week since I got home to my actual home. I left on the 27th of June to head to Brisbane for a training camp prior to the Tokyo Paralympic Games and because of the crash and quarantine I didn’t get home until the 8th of October. That is 3 months and 11 days or 103 days or 148,320 hours where it was all about me.

Yesterday as I began my 3rd day of quarantine in a Melbourne hotel, I was looking through Instagram, trying to make time pass by and I came upon a quote from Ralph Marston “See your actions as being driven by your choices, not controlled by your needs.” Later in the day something else came up about the same thing and it made me realise that the universe was sending me some kind of message.

Have you ever been so caught up in doing something that time just passes you by? Have you focused so much on what you are doing that you seem to miss out on other things in life? Well the life of an elite athlete can be exactly that.

How many times have we all set goals only to set our sights on the outcome instead of the process? I know that I have done it in the past even during a race by aiming for a specific time or speed that I want to finish in (the end product), instead of looking at the process during the race. Most often than not I fail at reaching that certain time or speed.

Lately, I have noticed how noisy the world is, it never seems to stop! The other day I was trying to think of the last time I just sat in silence and to be honest I don’t remember. To sit with nothingness, no phone, no radio, no music, no television, no computer, no sound at all.

None of us likes to be wrong or make mistakes! I know that I hate it, but why do we feel like it is the worst thing? Being wrong or making a mistake can leave us feeling unworthy or less valuable. We think people are always watching and seeing our mistakes. But sometimes we are the only one that really notices our mistakes because the rest of the world is more worried about themselves.

So for about a year now I have tried to put out a blog each week and I have been very diligent in doing it on a Sunday afternoon. Yesterday was Sunday and I had the typical Sunday for me, a day off from training, some laundry and a bit of a tidy around the house. I must say it was a good day for it because it was cold, wet and windy!